Dads are the most unappreciated part of the process. I thought it would be a good idea to document Eric's part of the experience so that it's captured for down the road...so I'm typing but this is Dad's side of the story:
- I'd been worried all along that Mary under-reported pain and downplayed things. However, when she woke me up at 4:50 last Sunday morning, we were both kinda surprised that this was really happening.
- We'd lived in the hospital long enough that I knew how to hook up all the machines and tried to help as much as I could to get things moving along.
- I called my parents around 5:30 am, once we confirmed that this was "it". Mom answered the phone and although they were not awake, they got up and headed to the hospital quickly. Mom packed a bag of stuff to occupy her during the wait (anticipating a long one), but it turns out none of that was needed. Once we got back to the room around 7:15 am I called them to let them know he was here and they were almost at the hospital.
- Her timeframes are all off. I was acutely aware of timeframes of when each contraction started and when the doc/nurse did things.
- I asked for scrubs when she was at 7 cm (back in the room); the nurse brought them in and also said they were going to check her again so I held up on changing until after that. Turns out she was 9 cm already, so I figured I'd better change qu ickly! By the time I was done the L&D nurse and the doctor had the bed moving and ready to head to the OR for delivery. I had to follow the bed down the hall (Mary couldn't see me) because it was all crowded. (ALSO: one size fits all? My ass! I felt like a fat guy in a little coat).
- I did not realize I'd be holding a leg during delivery, but was tasked with that to help. This gave me a view on the entire process while keeping my hand there for Mary to squeeze.
- Initially when I saw the crown of his head coming out, I thought that was his whole head and remember thinking "wow, he IS small" (and why is this so hard? that looks small?) . Then the rest of the head came out and I got a better idea of his size!
- I'd hoped to cut the cord but the doc did so quickly and he got rushed out of the room for the pediatric team to check him out. Mary and I only got a short glimpse of him and heard a small whimper as he was wisked out of the room.
- Later I was asked if I wanted to see him as Mary was getting attended to. I went across the hall, feeling guilty that I got to see him first. I made sure that was ok with Mary (Mary here: YES, I wanted someone to check on our baby!!) and then to the room where they had him. He was surrounded by all sorts of people in OR garb. We have video of this. I came in and they said, "here's your boy!". Captured a few moments of this, made sure he was breathing and such, then went back to check on Mary (and make sure I wasn't getting in the way in there).
- Once we got back to the room, I showed Mary the video of his first moments. They'd told me we could call down to the NICU to hear more details on Tyler within about an hour of delivery. When I called the first time, they weren't ready because he was hard to get the IVs in him. They asked for 30 more minutes twice, and by the last time both Mary and I were getting very antsy and frustrated. Then, the doctor showed up in our room and let us know his weight, and that he was in good condition. This was a huge relief and we were able to see him shortly after that.
- the end result is (even with the bedrest): no matter how much I worried and tried to plan for every scenario, you do what you have to do, you have to go with what happens and handle it accordingly. This is what it means to "man up". And, if we'd been home it would have been a mad race to make it to the hospital in time. Once again, I was right.
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